Friday, June 6, 2014

Matthew 7:7

"Knock, and it shall be open. Seek, and you shall find. Ask, and you shall be given."



How true.

The past week was in fact, the BEST week I had this year. It it could have been the best week for the past donkey years. It marks a milestone in my life. 

Having to come out to work as a contract staff hasn't been this rewarding. I planned to take a contract role because I would be traveling in mid August to the end of the first week of September. Three and a half weeks, that is. Most organisations would probably be rejecting me because, who am I to take three and a half weeks of leave?! Am I the boss? No. I am just, a fresh graduate, from a private university - SIM. And so, after a good 2 weeks, I found a contract job in StandChart for 3 months, which would have already been ended but I got extended till end of July, with an increment, which I was really happy with. But that wasn't the best news. 

I was so worried about losing out to my peers because it seemed that all my university classmates already found jobs with pretty decent pay. And me? Contract staff, probably losing out on extra 5-6 months of working experience, losing out on bonuses and benefits, losing out on everything. I was upset for a period of time and got really stressed finding perm jobs which I would be able to start when I come back from my grad trip. This competitive nature in me really brings me down sometimes that I wish I could just be a little bit more normal haha. But that really meant a lot to me. Worse part was, I sent out resumes during lunchtime, after work, and even when I was at work I was on my phone, one after another, but got no replies. That was really saddening, and made me even more stressed than already was.

And then one day, one of my mentors actually asked me if I like writing reports because there was an internal job opening and I couldn't wait to pounce on this opportunity because I knew I needed to find a job. I cannot be coming back from my trip without a plan, a future, a penniless me. So with the help of my mentor, she sent my resume out and a week later I was called out for interviewS. First interview was so impromptu. I remember I was so engrossed in my work and suddenly my mentor grabbed my arm and told me "That boss wants to have an interview with you now." "HUH, NOW?!" I was so unprepared. I was so nervous. I was prompted by the interviewer to ask questions but I had none. My mind was blank and I didn't talk much. And then the next day, I had another interview, this time with two interviewers but I was informed of that interview only a day before. I remembered saying a little prayer and hoping to be calm and collected with confidence. Interview went well but I had to take this test which took me like 2 hours. I was told the test tested me on my mathematical, analytical skills, as well as my flair in writing and technical skills. Came back from the test with my morale at its lowest. I felt like I was being beaten and trampled (pardon the exaggeration haha). I felt lousy. I felt like its the end, the job isn't meant for me.  

A week later, I was called out to the pantry to meet the interviewer and after much consideration, I GOT IT. I couldn't believe. I mean there were other candidates what right??? Why me leh? I am such a noob, from a private uni, and I know nothing. I was told that for my test, I had to brush up on my mathematical skills but I had a flair in writing. This is actually the first time I heard my math sucks and my English is good. In fact, the way I write is nothing fantastic, but my math is way better. 

But nonetheless, I was overjoyed and too happy for words. For the past week, I was waiting for my special email, that came with the offer and my salary. It was waaaaaaaay more than I could ask for. I would never had expected to get this much. I know I have backslided as a Christian and I only say my prayers when I needed to say. I feel bad but, thank You for Your generous provision. I guess its true - from young, my mum drilled Matthew 7:7 in my head. "Knock, and it shall be open. Seek, and you shall find. Ask, and it shall be given." 

My family, friends and Chester was so happy for me when I broke the news to them. I could tell I made my parents so proud of me and I saw them beaming with joy. I could tell how my friends congratulated me and wished me nothing but the best. And I could tell that Chester was really proud and happy for me too. I am blessed and happy to have Chester because most guys have their man pride and whatsoever that a girl should be a girl. A girl should be staying in the kitchen, doing the housework, taking care of children and giving birth. YOU THINK WE ARE PIGS?!?! There are actually many guys who still have these thoughts even though we are in the 21st century. And even guys my age agreed on this fact that girls should be girls. This is disturbing and shocking at the same time given the era we are in.

Frankly speaking, although I am really happy, I have my doubts and concern. I don't actually know if I'll ever make the cut because this is a whole new industry for me to be in, without any prior experience. I am good in math but I am very careless with numbers. I heard of people in the department who does OT like free. I heard that it's very stressful but this is a good job and a good stepping stone because I'll learn a lot. Everytime I see my interviewers, they only have 3 words for me: Steep Learning Curve. It all sounds so scary but I am ever willing to give my best and sell my time there to learn, an hopefully, to climb. I know I am just another digit in the bank but I hope that one day, the management reports I'll be writing, will be recognised. 

Sacrifices aplenty. Given the OT I will be doing, I understand that I will have lesser social time, lesser time with my family and Chester, and lesser, or no me-time at all. And sometimes, I tell myself, as we age, friends and even good friends will tend to drift apart in some way or another because of our busy schedules. That is what my mentor told me too and I couldn't agree more. 

As I move into this new phase of life, in July, which is also the month I turn 22, I hope that this job brings me job satisfaction. I'll still be working as a contract staff in July in the new department to familiarise myself and get some work done. Life, has so much to offer. 

All in all, I would like to thank my Provider in everything. I can't be more grateful. :')