Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Privileged

For the past 2 years, Chester brought up this idea that we should go to Europe together. 2 years back, I thought it was going to be impossible. Like I mean, this kind of thing is for married couples right? Honeymooning and stuff. I'm still young, we are still young. Nothing is confirmed. What if I meet "The Right One" in a couple of years time...?

But I don't know what made me want to go to Europe so much. Maybe because a huge part of me really wants to see the world, and perhaps it is because I have been too overly protected by my parents. For the past few holidays with Chester (BKK, etc.), I had to lie to my parents that I was going with a bunch of friends because I couldn't get out of the country with just him. My parents didn't allow even if it means I was 21 years old and earning my own money through temping during my University holidays. I was jealous of those who are able to go freely with their boyfriends, jealous that even my younger brother can openly go overseas with his girlfriend, but I just couldn't. I was already 21, and I thought it was nothing but absurd. Tell me what is the difference between adulthood and the past 21 years of my life then? Nothing.

My parents were against the idea of me going to Europe with my 'bunch of friends' 2 years back, when I told them I wanted to go as my grad trip. It took me like 2 years and many gazillions people to convince them that I am all grown up. People younger than me are also going overseas to pursue a degree and staying overseas by themselves, why can't I? Moreover, I am going for a month, not long term like them...

So me being me, 2 years forward, booked a ticket to Europe with Chester about 4 months back. I feel bad lying to my parents once more but this time I felt I had to make a stand if I wanted something. This trip didn't come easy. I worked my ass 5 months off and saved hard for this. And I made sacrifices, because most of my classmates would be employed by now (and their probations over), and 5 months means that they are 5 months ahead of me. Me, being the kiasu one, cannot swallow it because that means missing out on bonuses, experience, etc. But nevertheless, I secured myself a job right after my trip. Feeling at ease, but at the same time, not looking forward to my trip because when I come back, I have only got a day to rest before I start working forever.... Omg :(

But it's just 3 more days to Europe! This feels way too surreal. Way. Too. Surreal.

Can't imagine myself standing before the attractions, on top of the mountains in Switzerland and stuffing myself with Burgers and Lobsters in London.

Okay till then! So much more to pack. All the pre-holiday jitters already setting in.




Friday, June 6, 2014

Matthew 7:7

"Knock, and it shall be open. Seek, and you shall find. Ask, and you shall be given."



How true.

The past week was in fact, the BEST week I had this year. It it could have been the best week for the past donkey years. It marks a milestone in my life. 

Having to come out to work as a contract staff hasn't been this rewarding. I planned to take a contract role because I would be traveling in mid August to the end of the first week of September. Three and a half weeks, that is. Most organisations would probably be rejecting me because, who am I to take three and a half weeks of leave?! Am I the boss? No. I am just, a fresh graduate, from a private university - SIM. And so, after a good 2 weeks, I found a contract job in StandChart for 3 months, which would have already been ended but I got extended till end of July, with an increment, which I was really happy with. But that wasn't the best news. 

I was so worried about losing out to my peers because it seemed that all my university classmates already found jobs with pretty decent pay. And me? Contract staff, probably losing out on extra 5-6 months of working experience, losing out on bonuses and benefits, losing out on everything. I was upset for a period of time and got really stressed finding perm jobs which I would be able to start when I come back from my grad trip. This competitive nature in me really brings me down sometimes that I wish I could just be a little bit more normal haha. But that really meant a lot to me. Worse part was, I sent out resumes during lunchtime, after work, and even when I was at work I was on my phone, one after another, but got no replies. That was really saddening, and made me even more stressed than already was.

And then one day, one of my mentors actually asked me if I like writing reports because there was an internal job opening and I couldn't wait to pounce on this opportunity because I knew I needed to find a job. I cannot be coming back from my trip without a plan, a future, a penniless me. So with the help of my mentor, she sent my resume out and a week later I was called out for interviewS. First interview was so impromptu. I remember I was so engrossed in my work and suddenly my mentor grabbed my arm and told me "That boss wants to have an interview with you now." "HUH, NOW?!" I was so unprepared. I was so nervous. I was prompted by the interviewer to ask questions but I had none. My mind was blank and I didn't talk much. And then the next day, I had another interview, this time with two interviewers but I was informed of that interview only a day before. I remembered saying a little prayer and hoping to be calm and collected with confidence. Interview went well but I had to take this test which took me like 2 hours. I was told the test tested me on my mathematical, analytical skills, as well as my flair in writing and technical skills. Came back from the test with my morale at its lowest. I felt like I was being beaten and trampled (pardon the exaggeration haha). I felt lousy. I felt like its the end, the job isn't meant for me.  

A week later, I was called out to the pantry to meet the interviewer and after much consideration, I GOT IT. I couldn't believe. I mean there were other candidates what right??? Why me leh? I am such a noob, from a private uni, and I know nothing. I was told that for my test, I had to brush up on my mathematical skills but I had a flair in writing. This is actually the first time I heard my math sucks and my English is good. In fact, the way I write is nothing fantastic, but my math is way better. 

But nonetheless, I was overjoyed and too happy for words. For the past week, I was waiting for my special email, that came with the offer and my salary. It was waaaaaaaay more than I could ask for. I would never had expected to get this much. I know I have backslided as a Christian and I only say my prayers when I needed to say. I feel bad but, thank You for Your generous provision. I guess its true - from young, my mum drilled Matthew 7:7 in my head. "Knock, and it shall be open. Seek, and you shall find. Ask, and it shall be given." 

My family, friends and Chester was so happy for me when I broke the news to them. I could tell I made my parents so proud of me and I saw them beaming with joy. I could tell how my friends congratulated me and wished me nothing but the best. And I could tell that Chester was really proud and happy for me too. I am blessed and happy to have Chester because most guys have their man pride and whatsoever that a girl should be a girl. A girl should be staying in the kitchen, doing the housework, taking care of children and giving birth. YOU THINK WE ARE PIGS?!?! There are actually many guys who still have these thoughts even though we are in the 21st century. And even guys my age agreed on this fact that girls should be girls. This is disturbing and shocking at the same time given the era we are in.

Frankly speaking, although I am really happy, I have my doubts and concern. I don't actually know if I'll ever make the cut because this is a whole new industry for me to be in, without any prior experience. I am good in math but I am very careless with numbers. I heard of people in the department who does OT like free. I heard that it's very stressful but this is a good job and a good stepping stone because I'll learn a lot. Everytime I see my interviewers, they only have 3 words for me: Steep Learning Curve. It all sounds so scary but I am ever willing to give my best and sell my time there to learn, an hopefully, to climb. I know I am just another digit in the bank but I hope that one day, the management reports I'll be writing, will be recognised. 

Sacrifices aplenty. Given the OT I will be doing, I understand that I will have lesser social time, lesser time with my family and Chester, and lesser, or no me-time at all. And sometimes, I tell myself, as we age, friends and even good friends will tend to drift apart in some way or another because of our busy schedules. That is what my mentor told me too and I couldn't agree more. 

As I move into this new phase of life, in July, which is also the month I turn 22, I hope that this job brings me job satisfaction. I'll still be working as a contract staff in July in the new department to familiarise myself and get some work done. Life, has so much to offer. 

All in all, I would like to thank my Provider in everything. I can't be more grateful. :') 





Thursday, April 10, 2014

Life after Graduation

I always shudder at the thought of life after graduating from University. It's good to be earning my own money and having my own spending power and getting what I want. But I hated the thought of missing out on afternoon naps, not being at home with Perry, and not feeling so carefree anymore. What's worse is that I can't imagine myself working for the next 30-40 years of my life. 

The day came anyway. The day I finally took my last paper and celebrated my 2nd anniversary. Was in search of a job urgently because I wanted to save up for my own graduation trip. Speaking of which, we booked our tickets to Europe on the first week of March! Wanted to book it on out anniversary, in February, but we weren't sure of Chester's academic year in school yet, not until 3 weeks later. 



And so I started my working life. Before that, it was interviews after interviews. If was so tiring, but I am so thankful for Chester for accompanying me for my interviews, carrying my heels, portfolios, certs, MacBook and paraphernalia.

I began working 2 weeks after my last paper. Found a job at standchart. No doubt stressful, I'm learning a lot. Coming from an advertising background, it was a huge jump for me to end up doing financial reporting every other day. I told myself I wanted to try something different. I have always love advertising but I'm not sure if it's going to pay me well. I just had to find a job that pays me better for now so I can have more money for my grad trip, and I really wanted to be exposed to finance. It isn't easy for me, probably because it's the beginning and I still have lots to learn, but I'm trying. Everytime I'm tired, I make myself coffee in the pantry, thinking of both Chester and myself admiring the architectural magnificence in Rome (and eating lots of gelatos), shopping and touring Florence, hiking with breath-taking views in Cinque Terre, visiting Lucerne, Paris and London. And then I have this sudden boost of motivation and get very awake. 

I also hope I make my parents proud that I got a job, especially my mum, that I'm working somewhere she probably wants me to be. I'm not doing this for her, but I, myself really want to try out this industry too. And also, I'm thankful that my parents finally allow me to travel to Europe because 2 years ago, before I could complete my question if I could go to Europe for my grad trip, they said no. Now that I'm working very hard for my trip, I hope they know that I'm working very hard for what I want. 


I barely have time for myself since I started work. Only free time is probably bedtime (which is now), but I'm not complaining. I'm still getting used to this whole working life.



And here's some pictures from the photoshoot & wedding dinner that took place just last weekend. It was really nice spending family time together.














Friday, February 21, 2014

Valentine's Day & our Anniversary & anything else that's worthy of celebration

I was upset that I had to sit for my first final paper on Valentine's Day. Upset that I could not really spend the day with Chester. Upset that I was hurting from menstrual cramps but yet I had to take the paper. After my paper, I sensed something fishy from the boyfriend because he told me to take my time to come over. I knew he was up to something but when I got over, I saw nothing. Still feeling suspicious, I went to take a bath. And then after I took my bath....

.... I came out to this sight. A beautiful sight I never would have expected. Because I hate to see my rose withering, I had these. And it was beautiful I couldn't help but to tear, secretly. Also, I received my first blue box. I was over the mooooon.

The evening went pretty normal. We didn't celebrate Valentine's Day but I got my Valentine's Day cum Anniversary gift on the day itself.

Then came my final and last paper (of my university life) on 17th Feb. Which was coincidentally my 2nd anniversary. Which was also my last day of school in polytechnic 2 years ago. I specifically chose to get together on the last day of polytechnic because I couldn't stand tongues wagging in school. I hated it. We went way before but only made it official on 17th Feb 2012. 

We celebrated our anniversary the next day, and gave him my handmade gifts. We set a budget for our anniversary gifts this year because we wanted to save money for our big trip. But since he spoilt the market, I did so the very next minute and hence the last present hasn't arrived.

So proud of the scarf that I have knitted. After 1.5 months, 2 balls of yarn, approximately 300 metres worth of wool, 20,000 knits and lots of incessant whining, I finally managed to knit at 1.7 metres scarf. And I hope to knit more in the future.




Dinner at Morganfield's.


Fairy lights at vivo

Happy anniversary love.

I love my presents very much. Never underestimate the power of handmade gifts. 



And lastly, I have finally graduated from university. It's been quite a journey. Arrivederci!


Thursday, January 9, 2014