6th October 2012 - POP lo!

10 weeks went by in the blink of an eye. These 10 weeks didn't go by easily for the both of us, having you to  stay active for at least 16 hours a day, me having school, very little or no communication (esp field camp week), and many days with ups and downs. Not easy at all. Even though I didn't go through BMT, both Chee & I felt that we "went through it mentally". Glad that I have someone who's in the same boat as me ranting and getting frustrated over little army talks along the way to school. Makes me feel less alone esp when both our boyfriends are going through the same thing and us being caught up with school.

One week of block leave after Passing Out Parade and half of the break is gone like that. Hate to say how untimely my exams are, having to clash with the block leave. Wasted so much time on recess/ independent study week on projects leaving myself with little time for revision. That being said, I don't know if I'm the only one not freaking out despite having so much to study. I hope I'm not giving up on myself just yet... I am more afraid of why am I not feeling terrified over my first uni exams. It baffles me. Still spending my time leisurely to my liking. I ought to be shot knowing I'm left with no time.

As of date (10th October 2012), I'm glad you completed 11% of your army life (hitting the 12% soon!). Can't believe which genius created a countdown app for the army boys...

peaceful morning

ranting buddy otw to school

after bmt, he's still as blur as ever. chipped a tooth because his rifle hit his tooth while marching... what can I say?

Happy 21st birthday!

Phew finally another load off. I think I've been feeling more nervous and anxious than the birthday boy himself because I planned this! Heh. Thought things might not go as well as it would be but surprisingly it did! One of those heartwarming gatherings I'd say. I'm proud of me. :)

10 more weekdays to your Passing Out Parade! Can't waittt!

Finally all grown up! :')

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter:
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said:
"No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father. 
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go." 
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold yours...



“Relationships are mysterious. We doubt the positive qualities in others, seldom the negative. You will say to your partner: do you really love me? Are you sure you love me? You will ask this a dozen times and drive the person nuts. But you never ask: are you really mad at me? Are you sure you’re angry? When someone is angry, you don’t doubt it for a moment. Yet the reverse should be true. We should doubt the negative in life, and have faith in the positive.” 


"We're never so vulnerable when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love of joy"

"I'll start letting my guard down when people stop giving me reasons to keep it up."

Just within one month, or even less than that (all in a week to be exact), things changed so much, so drastically. Surprisingly I think I'm coping well, much better than I expected and for that I'm proud of myself. But I don't know if it's a good or a bad thing. All that has happened really opened my eyes, broaden my perspectives, changed my mindset on certain issues and be wary of the littlest things. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise...

Only time will tell.

http://cupcakesandcashmere.com/

My favourite read since 2010. Haven't read it in a while and felt so inspired to make strawberry ice cream/ bonbons/ jams after reading it all over again.

It's finally August and I really hope mid August comes quickly. Kinda sucks when we don't have a choice but to move on with different phases of life, especially when it's clashing.

I loved how I spent my last week of July.

I have not been posting about my personal thoughts and how I've been feeling for the longest time ever. I've been reserved, toned down, and quiet regarding my thoughts or else I might just feel that anonymous and random people may chance upon this domain and comment as they wish. I build walls around me only people close to me would know.

But I have spent a few months of solid quality time with you. I hate to feel this way, dependent and helpless, when I swore to the world I would never become of this when I'm attached. Well at least, I'm still pretty proud of myself I am not like some other girls who will just die without their other half. Not that I am super dependent, I feel that I could be more independent.

Think I'm going to miss how we've been spending the weekdays together lazing around watching old movies talking nonsensical stuff and whatnot, feeling so carefree. Now that I've got school and you're enlisting in a week, we'll never get to spend the weekdays like we used to anymore...

May the odds ever be in our favour hahaha.

How is it like to be 20?

Not exactly the most exciting I would say. Not that I didn't enjoy the celebrations but I am dreading school, especially the traveling part. This is only the beginning and I barely scraped through Week 1 but I hate traveling 1hr 45min in just one trip. Coming home is another problem. I have never spent more than 10 minutes traveling to school all my life but....

Not to mention, school scares me. I mean, how can one survive without tutorials? I am being taught in lecture hardcore for 5 days a week for 3 hours over the same module and after one week they are done teaching me, I am given 6 donkey months all by myself to complete a report without ANY guidance... Intimidating isn't it..? Well at least to me it is. Never like to be thrown aside and be independent in this aspect. How would this even help me in my work next time...? All these are perhaps, at most, training you to have insights & perspective in these industries and other than that, it's just a form of disciplinary studies.

I know, I am whiny. I can't help being whiny and I've been whiny to the people around me. That's because I'm still adapting to everything unfamiliar :( I still don't feel good in school, 3 hours lecture bores me and I zone out and lose focus.

I really hope I can adapt to this ASAP so I can get on my feet and bloody move on with (school) life.

6th July 2012.

I spend my last few moments (45 minutes from now, to be exact), as a teen. Not that I want to make it sound so dramatic, but just thinking of what school & life has taught me, I have grown a lot more since. Walking down memory lane & I just feel sentimental about it.
They say, when you hit the big "two", before you even know it, you'll be 30 already. Who knows I would still be alive...? Looking old, saggy, wrinkly, haggardy, and what not. Who knows I would be a mother of two by then haha. I always envy my parents, want to get married by 28 and have one girl first, and one boy after.

Moving ahead, now that I am turning 20, I really have a lot in my mind, not to mention that my holidays have officially come to an end, leaving me with the weekends to enjoy before I start my first day of University next Mon, 9 July. I am scared, really. Despite having a handful of familiar souls I am comfortable with, I still have a phobia of hanging in a new environment which I would call it my second home. There are still others I have yet to meet and University scares me. As childish and immature as it sounds, I don't wanna grow up. :(

Nevertheless I had fun these two days with my girls and Chester. I really appreciate every one of them in my life and I cannot imagine what would I be like without these people.

After the endless train of thoughts, I have come to conclude that we should Treasure Yesteryear. 

"Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused."

Most significant event in May: Graduation.
These 3 years did not go by easily. Of course there were good times, but plenty of bad times too. Workload stress, internship stress, people to be wary of. Being in a tertiary institute taught me a lot more about people. More than I could ever imagine. Good ones, bad ones, fake ones... I make friends way too easily in the past, only to hurt myself. It is only in school, I learn to be more cautious of the people and its surroundings, and build walls around me; only letting people in whom I feel comfortable with. That goes without saying.
Speaking of which, I am really glad for my bunch of friends who stood by me, even though I did not get to meet some of them during graduation. Such a pity! But nevertheless, I thank God for what I have.
Here are some of my favourites -

Hello April!

Beginning of April, saw us in Genting for a good 3D2N. The temperature was just perfect - perfect enough for us to be in shorts & a nice comfy hoodie.

But now that the trip's over, my 2 month stint at Publicis begins. Not exactly a bed of roses. Since I was an intern there before, I was expected to know everything and take up the role of a Senior Acc Exec. I know, I know the pay sucks, considering that I'm still receiving the allowance of an intern. But I feel that in this industry, experience is what you need. Talked to a colleague previously & it took her a good 10 years to enter an international advertising agency. So this goes I'm pretty lucky to step foot as an intern & climb my way up there. There you go, I saved 10 years :)

And meanwhile, I'm crossing my fingers I get the choice of my uni course. Rly hoping I can get in!

Now it's way beyond my bedtime. I'm so drained. I complain & whine a lot about work but all these will eventually be fruitful. Go me!

March cannot get any better. Loved the Phuket trip and the new friends I've made during this trip even though I suffered quite a bit on the last few days. Came back with a huge abrasion on my face 'cause the waves at Kamala Beach were so huge it hit me, I tumbled on the seabed, got my face scratched and got swept to the shore. That beach also gave me memorable time 'cause I got stung by a jellyfish and am still suffering. Then the fourth day saw me with a high fever and inflammation of the throat but still happily banana boating because I thought I just had to enjoy since I'm all the way here!

Then, celebrated my coach's 50th birthday back in secondary school. Felt so good back to be in school but so many things have changed :( Nevertheless, I had a smashin' time at the surprise party.

So many pictures to show and here's what I've been doing since 2012!

My project group in Year 3

CNY 2012

Sent the Thai Boy off with the secondary school chums. Missin em

GRADUATION, 17 FEB 2012

Our usual Marketing tradition

Attended Butter Fact's private event @ Red Dot Museum, went in as media personnel

PHUKET 2nd - 7th March!

Sir's surprise 50th!

SHVB Girls ftw

I have a thing for kids

So, in a blink of the eye, school's over. 3 years worth of tertiary education, checked! And right now, I can already officially step into the workforce but Uni comes first. Speaking of which, uni woes aplenty.....

Last day of school also marks our first day of togetherness. :')

Fun awaits me this long break! Phuket, graduation ceremony and whatnot.

Arrivederci, Temasek Polytechnic!

Hola Februaryyyyy!

Basicallyyyyy, January has its fair share of ups and downs, but there were definitely more happy times than the sad ones. Everyday, I try to count my blessings. From the moment I open my eyes every morning till I knock out after a tiring day. So that I'll be able to know how fortunate I am, with the people around me.

Right now, I really cannot wait to graduate. The workload in school, with projects and such, is way too overwhelming. I wondered how I could actually survive for almost three years. Just like that time flies without us knowing. Secondary school felt like only a year ago. But in the midst of this journey, I learnt a lot, matured a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot.........

Thing is, 5 more school days and I'll be done with this life. Cannot wait to see myself in Phuket, Genting, Bangkok, spending time baking, back in Publicis, etc. I just have too many things I wanna do and I'm really excited! :) :) :)

February, please be good ♥

January has been good thus far.

Look at how time flies - we're already in mid Jan. And in just a matter of another week, we welcome the CNY.

22 more school days & I'll be out of this hellhole. But I'll deffy miss the ones who stay true to me. Everyone's fretting about uni talks and such and it makes me really stressed too. Everyone's asking me what are my plans after polytechnic, uni plans, etc... I know my parents are anxious too but it's making me feel very, very stressed.

Nevertheless, I had a pretty pleasant week. ♥

Happy 2012!!!

Here's to an awesome 2012, another year of joyful struggles and whatnot.

There's just this feeling of uncertainty. 29 more school days and I'll be done with my life in a polytechnic. Don't know how I should feel about this. Should I be glad and proud of myself that I have survived such a bitchy and a never-ending competitive environment, or should I be sad that I am growing up way too fast? Secondary school graduation is still fresh in my mind and it didn't seem like it was 3 years ago.

Nonetheless, I am glad that I have friends who stood by me through thick and thin. Having gone through these 3 years of tertiary education shows who my real friends are. It also shows the ugly side of people, really. People being fake (of which some really suck at acting fake), people bootlicking to someone of higher authority to curry favour and in return are biased towards them, which also means unfair treatment, etc. Only those in poly and have been through what I have been through will truly understand. Especially if your course is somewhat like project-based....

AND, I'm also really glad that through it all, I've got someone to catch me when I fall, advise me whenever possible and be my listening ear :')

2012 not only brings about polytechnic graduation but university admission. Marketing it is, but idek which unis I want to apply. Going abroad to study is also one of my options but come to think of it, I'll be alone in a foreign land....and I have to leave everything behind back in Singapore.... You know, how fragile life is, you never know what happens next. I want my loved ones by my side, always. Call me a loser for cocking up with excuses for being overly dependent, but I really cannot bear to leave anyone even if it's for a year. Life as it is, is fragile & unpredictable.

Lastly, 2012 also means that I will no longer be a teen. It scares me. To hit the big 2, brings about more responsibilities - adulthood, work, settling down..... I don't really want to think so much but that's what people in their 20s do, right? And they say, when one hits the big 2, time flies and before you know it, you'll be 30. It really, really scares me. So meanwhile, from now till the 7th of July, I'd really want and love to cherish my last days of being a teen. Thinking back, my teenage years were rather memorable and I'd really love to revive them again if possible. :(

I'm guessing it's just a matter of time. Somehow, I prefer it the way it is....

END OF SEMESTER 3.1!

Good riddance.

Would really say I had a tough time this semester. I had a tough time figuring out the types of friends I have, the new groupmates, struggling to meet deadlines after deadline with not only endless assignments, mini tests but also projects. Yep projects are the main culprit. I also had a tough time handling situations whereby tongues wag and rumours spread, tough time facing those that I do not want to face everyday. And most importantly, I had a tough time NOT being myself. I was never this quiet in class. Not that I didn't know or wasn't bold enough to break the ice but there's just this fear in me..... I'd rather have a nice close bunch of friends whom I already have and for that, I am grateful. I think that's just enough to make me contented.

.......but heck, liberation is here. Freedom never tasted this sweet. Probably so because I am so satisfied with the stuff of work I've done this semester? Not hoping for the worse, neither am I expecting for the best but I reckon I won't do as well as I did in Year 2.

It's been a long time & I hardly ever blog. Bet nobody reads this space already. I hardly even read my own blog already, what more others?

Now, let us all embrace this well deserved one-month break before internship starts. So proud of my self-secured place in Publicis. Probably one of the best in the world. Can't wait :)

Jesus, take the wheel

9 more days.....

So tired...