I have not been posting about my personal thoughts and how I've been feeling for the longest time ever. I've been reserved, toned down, and quiet regarding my thoughts or else I might just feel that anonymous and random people may chance upon this domain and comment as they wish. I build walls around me only people close to me would know.

But I have spent a few months of solid quality time with you. I hate to feel this way, dependent and helpless, when I swore to the world I would never become of this when I'm attached. Well at least, I'm still pretty proud of myself I am not like some other girls who will just die without their other half. Not that I am super dependent, I feel that I could be more independent.

Think I'm going to miss how we've been spending the weekdays together lazing around watching old movies talking nonsensical stuff and whatnot, feeling so carefree. Now that I've got school and you're enlisting in a week, we'll never get to spend the weekdays like we used to anymore...

May the odds ever be in our favour hahaha.

How is it like to be 20?

Not exactly the most exciting I would say. Not that I didn't enjoy the celebrations but I am dreading school, especially the traveling part. This is only the beginning and I barely scraped through Week 1 but I hate traveling 1hr 45min in just one trip. Coming home is another problem. I have never spent more than 10 minutes traveling to school all my life but....

Not to mention, school scares me. I mean, how can one survive without tutorials? I am being taught in lecture hardcore for 5 days a week for 3 hours over the same module and after one week they are done teaching me, I am given 6 donkey months all by myself to complete a report without ANY guidance... Intimidating isn't it..? Well at least to me it is. Never like to be thrown aside and be independent in this aspect. How would this even help me in my work next time...? All these are perhaps, at most, training you to have insights & perspective in these industries and other than that, it's just a form of disciplinary studies.

I know, I am whiny. I can't help being whiny and I've been whiny to the people around me. That's because I'm still adapting to everything unfamiliar :( I still don't feel good in school, 3 hours lecture bores me and I zone out and lose focus.

I really hope I can adapt to this ASAP so I can get on my feet and bloody move on with (school) life.

6th July 2012.

I spend my last few moments (45 minutes from now, to be exact), as a teen. Not that I want to make it sound so dramatic, but just thinking of what school & life has taught me, I have grown a lot more since. Walking down memory lane & I just feel sentimental about it.
They say, when you hit the big "two", before you even know it, you'll be 30 already. Who knows I would still be alive...? Looking old, saggy, wrinkly, haggardy, and what not. Who knows I would be a mother of two by then haha. I always envy my parents, want to get married by 28 and have one girl first, and one boy after.

Moving ahead, now that I am turning 20, I really have a lot in my mind, not to mention that my holidays have officially come to an end, leaving me with the weekends to enjoy before I start my first day of University next Mon, 9 July. I am scared, really. Despite having a handful of familiar souls I am comfortable with, I still have a phobia of hanging in a new environment which I would call it my second home. There are still others I have yet to meet and University scares me. As childish and immature as it sounds, I don't wanna grow up. :(

Nevertheless I had fun these two days with my girls and Chester. I really appreciate every one of them in my life and I cannot imagine what would I be like without these people.

After the endless train of thoughts, I have come to conclude that we should Treasure Yesteryear. 

"Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused."

Most significant event in May: Graduation.
These 3 years did not go by easily. Of course there were good times, but plenty of bad times too. Workload stress, internship stress, people to be wary of. Being in a tertiary institute taught me a lot more about people. More than I could ever imagine. Good ones, bad ones, fake ones... I make friends way too easily in the past, only to hurt myself. It is only in school, I learn to be more cautious of the people and its surroundings, and build walls around me; only letting people in whom I feel comfortable with. That goes without saying.
Speaking of which, I am really glad for my bunch of friends who stood by me, even though I did not get to meet some of them during graduation. Such a pity! But nevertheless, I thank God for what I have.
Here are some of my favourites -

Hello April!

Beginning of April, saw us in Genting for a good 3D2N. The temperature was just perfect - perfect enough for us to be in shorts & a nice comfy hoodie.

But now that the trip's over, my 2 month stint at Publicis begins. Not exactly a bed of roses. Since I was an intern there before, I was expected to know everything and take up the role of a Senior Acc Exec. I know, I know the pay sucks, considering that I'm still receiving the allowance of an intern. But I feel that in this industry, experience is what you need. Talked to a colleague previously & it took her a good 10 years to enter an international advertising agency. So this goes I'm pretty lucky to step foot as an intern & climb my way up there. There you go, I saved 10 years :)

And meanwhile, I'm crossing my fingers I get the choice of my uni course. Rly hoping I can get in!

Now it's way beyond my bedtime. I'm so drained. I complain & whine a lot about work but all these will eventually be fruitful. Go me!

March cannot get any better. Loved the Phuket trip and the new friends I've made during this trip even though I suffered quite a bit on the last few days. Came back with a huge abrasion on my face 'cause the waves at Kamala Beach were so huge it hit me, I tumbled on the seabed, got my face scratched and got swept to the shore. That beach also gave me memorable time 'cause I got stung by a jellyfish and am still suffering. Then the fourth day saw me with a high fever and inflammation of the throat but still happily banana boating because I thought I just had to enjoy since I'm all the way here!

Then, celebrated my coach's 50th birthday back in secondary school. Felt so good back to be in school but so many things have changed :( Nevertheless, I had a smashin' time at the surprise party.

So many pictures to show and here's what I've been doing since 2012!

My project group in Year 3

CNY 2012

Sent the Thai Boy off with the secondary school chums. Missin em

GRADUATION, 17 FEB 2012

Our usual Marketing tradition

Attended Butter Fact's private event @ Red Dot Museum, went in as media personnel

PHUKET 2nd - 7th March!

Sir's surprise 50th!

SHVB Girls ftw

I have a thing for kids

So, in a blink of the eye, school's over. 3 years worth of tertiary education, checked! And right now, I can already officially step into the workforce but Uni comes first. Speaking of which, uni woes aplenty.....

Last day of school also marks our first day of togetherness. :')

Fun awaits me this long break! Phuket, graduation ceremony and whatnot.

Arrivederci, Temasek Polytechnic!

Hola Februaryyyyy!

Basicallyyyyy, January has its fair share of ups and downs, but there were definitely more happy times than the sad ones. Everyday, I try to count my blessings. From the moment I open my eyes every morning till I knock out after a tiring day. So that I'll be able to know how fortunate I am, with the people around me.

Right now, I really cannot wait to graduate. The workload in school, with projects and such, is way too overwhelming. I wondered how I could actually survive for almost three years. Just like that time flies without us knowing. Secondary school felt like only a year ago. But in the midst of this journey, I learnt a lot, matured a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot.........

Thing is, 5 more school days and I'll be done with this life. Cannot wait to see myself in Phuket, Genting, Bangkok, spending time baking, back in Publicis, etc. I just have too many things I wanna do and I'm really excited! :) :) :)

February, please be good ♥

January has been good thus far.

Look at how time flies - we're already in mid Jan. And in just a matter of another week, we welcome the CNY.

22 more school days & I'll be out of this hellhole. But I'll deffy miss the ones who stay true to me. Everyone's fretting about uni talks and such and it makes me really stressed too. Everyone's asking me what are my plans after polytechnic, uni plans, etc... I know my parents are anxious too but it's making me feel very, very stressed.

Nevertheless, I had a pretty pleasant week. ♥

Happy 2012!!!

Here's to an awesome 2012, another year of joyful struggles and whatnot.

There's just this feeling of uncertainty. 29 more school days and I'll be done with my life in a polytechnic. Don't know how I should feel about this. Should I be glad and proud of myself that I have survived such a bitchy and a never-ending competitive environment, or should I be sad that I am growing up way too fast? Secondary school graduation is still fresh in my mind and it didn't seem like it was 3 years ago.

Nonetheless, I am glad that I have friends who stood by me through thick and thin. Having gone through these 3 years of tertiary education shows who my real friends are. It also shows the ugly side of people, really. People being fake (of which some really suck at acting fake), people bootlicking to someone of higher authority to curry favour and in return are biased towards them, which also means unfair treatment, etc. Only those in poly and have been through what I have been through will truly understand. Especially if your course is somewhat like project-based....

AND, I'm also really glad that through it all, I've got someone to catch me when I fall, advise me whenever possible and be my listening ear :')

2012 not only brings about polytechnic graduation but university admission. Marketing it is, but idek which unis I want to apply. Going abroad to study is also one of my options but come to think of it, I'll be alone in a foreign land....and I have to leave everything behind back in Singapore.... You know, how fragile life is, you never know what happens next. I want my loved ones by my side, always. Call me a loser for cocking up with excuses for being overly dependent, but I really cannot bear to leave anyone even if it's for a year. Life as it is, is fragile & unpredictable.

Lastly, 2012 also means that I will no longer be a teen. It scares me. To hit the big 2, brings about more responsibilities - adulthood, work, settling down..... I don't really want to think so much but that's what people in their 20s do, right? And they say, when one hits the big 2, time flies and before you know it, you'll be 30. It really, really scares me. So meanwhile, from now till the 7th of July, I'd really want and love to cherish my last days of being a teen. Thinking back, my teenage years were rather memorable and I'd really love to revive them again if possible. :(

I'm guessing it's just a matter of time. Somehow, I prefer it the way it is....

END OF SEMESTER 3.1!

Good riddance.

Would really say I had a tough time this semester. I had a tough time figuring out the types of friends I have, the new groupmates, struggling to meet deadlines after deadline with not only endless assignments, mini tests but also projects. Yep projects are the main culprit. I also had a tough time handling situations whereby tongues wag and rumours spread, tough time facing those that I do not want to face everyday. And most importantly, I had a tough time NOT being myself. I was never this quiet in class. Not that I didn't know or wasn't bold enough to break the ice but there's just this fear in me..... I'd rather have a nice close bunch of friends whom I already have and for that, I am grateful. I think that's just enough to make me contented.

.......but heck, liberation is here. Freedom never tasted this sweet. Probably so because I am so satisfied with the stuff of work I've done this semester? Not hoping for the worse, neither am I expecting for the best but I reckon I won't do as well as I did in Year 2.

It's been a long time & I hardly ever blog. Bet nobody reads this space already. I hardly even read my own blog already, what more others?

Now, let us all embrace this well deserved one-month break before internship starts. So proud of my self-secured place in Publicis. Probably one of the best in the world. Can't wait :)

Jesus, take the wheel

9 more days.....

So tired...

School holidays have come to an end and today is my first day at school as a Year 3 a.k.a Senior Year. But everything seems so fast........

The long break was rather well spent. Tons of shopping (online to be precise), gorging ourselves with xiao long baos, ice cream indulgence, gatherings, meetups and not to mention the search for my internship. Am very proud to say that I have self secured my internship at Publicis, which means I get to work with my cousin! \m/

Need I not say, everything is just awesomeeeeeeee :)

So....today is my first day at school and my lecture is from 4-6p.m.

Ok till then! :P

I almost forgot my blog existed!!!!

.....not until when I was looking through the pictures in Photobucket. Ha.

The holidays have been going on pretty well so far though my days were planned according to day by day basis or even impromptu meetups. 'Cept for driving lessons which I have to book in advance, duh~

Already into my third week of holidays and most of my days are spent babysitting Perry. Speaking of which, I wanted to find my camera for a trip out to Sentosa but it was damaged! Damnnn. Because of what you ask? My mom saw Perry dragging my bag out into the living room, then PERRY DUG MY BAG, TOOK OUT MY CAMERA AND SWUNG IT TO AND FRO, AGAIN AND AGAIN. By the time my mom stopped Perry, it was too late. RIP my dear camera :(

Thing is, I'm not at all mad. How can I EVER be mad at this cute little thing? Huh!!!

So the highlight of the week was spending time at Sentosa! Time really flies when I'm at Sentosa. This time with another bunch of awesome company I must say. The sunny weather too, couldn't get any better despite the weather forecast mentioned showers with thunder :)

Jessica accidentally spilled her drink onto the wedges so we had Alcoholic Wedges...

Oh btw, Happy Birthday Aetiiqcaz!!!! :)

Counting down to liberation.... 16 more hours!!!

Exactly a week ago, we the family brought Perry to Marina Bay Sands for a walk.

He was, and is still, a star ★

K honestly I've got nothing to update because I am going through the most mundane part of a polytechnic student's life. Mugging for the Final Paper. As far as I've recalled, I haven't been studying for any Final Papers since.....a year ago? I mean, aside from End Semester tests which only takes up a puny percentage of the overall grade. It's fifty freaking percent this time. And all I'm feeling so relaxed right now. I am a sucker. I have no discipline. I am a bad kid :(

Maybe the highlight of the week is that I have applied for my Provisional Driving License and started my first driving lesson. Yes, manual. The car stalled several times. Was taught to overtake trucks/vans/lorries. Accelerated too fast and braked too sudden, I could see the fear in my instructor's eyes. Poor guy.
Second highlight of the week was that I get to see my group mates, combined with two students from the other class, to present our project to the CEO, Directors, Marketing Manager and team of RISIS. Proud of everyone, proud of my project! And this is when I cannot help but to thank everyone in my group for today's achievement.


K that aside, gonna bury my head in that.....stack of notes!

Sometimes I tend to ask myself, are all these sacrifices worthwhile.....?

Goodbye school, Goodbye Year Two.

Honestly I have mixed feeling about this because I'm happy I went through all that shit and am still standing strong but it saddens me because I know I'm one step closer to the corporate world. I'd rather be a student all my life despite the never ending angsty rants I may spurt in a moment of crankiness caused by both mental, physical stress and the lack of sleep.

I also think I had the best classmates too because I never had once a class so rowdy (in a good/fun) way and studious. Best of both worlds, I say. We even spent Valentine's evening sitting for an end semester test and a briefing on Internet Marketing thereafter. :/

But all I can think now is nothing but to have fun because this (study) break is darn well deserved to each and every one of us. Two papers down already and one more to go two weeks later.

Today was the last day of school and I only went to school for a mere 10 minutes for my interview role-play. My day was pretty much simple, and was of much harmless fun. HK desserts + Taiwan snacks + beancurd and shopping with the Brisbane roomie a.k.a Joce.

Fun awaits me!!!

But this holiday won't be much of an all-play vacation because I've got so many things to do. I should really get a part time job this vacation so I can pay for my own driving lessons. I know I've been quite a burden to my parents so I guess it's time for someone who is turning 19 to get a job during the holidays! And honestly I don't know how it works because I have never worked before. Yes go ahead and laugh at me for being a good-for-nothing.... -.-

And it's high time for me to go find a company for my upcoming internship too.

K ciao shall get back to the damn Internet Marketing project.

The downside of being a marketer......

Never too late for this :)

Love of the family is life's greatest blessing.

LIBERATIONNNN.....

....at least for now!

I'm done with both of my end semester tests already and that leaves me feeling more relaxed. However we're all still busy with our new campaign for Internet Marketing. It's so complicated it's driving us crazy. Worst thing is that it's self directed learning and we're doing this all alone with our tutors baffled so we only have ourselves to depend on :"(

My Sunday was spent at Sentosa refereeing for Surf & Sweat and it's quite an eye opener really. I knew it was going to be hard and sure it was! It's my first time being a referee and I reckon I will not do this again.

Alright back to monitoring the stats. I'm starting to hate you, Google. Please be nice to my groupmates & I.

Sigh, hope I survive the last week of Year 2!!!

It's Sunday night and I'm really dreading tomorrow to come...

Day after day I lie awake feeling so unrefreshed despite the ample rest from the previous night and I really wonder why. This week, although a little more relaxed because all presentations are over (that is if I were to include tomorrow's Advertising & Promotion presentation), there is a lot of revision to catch up on because the upcoming A&P end semester test. Worst thing is that I don't even know if I have the time to revise because me being me, I chose hobby over studies. Sigh I really don't know what was I thinking. I know it's definitely a wrong choice to be a referee for some beach volleyball games this coming Sunday but I know this opportunity don't come often. Then again, it's always studies>hobby most of the time. Moreover my end semester test happens to be on the next day of my beach activity.

Now that I've chose to take this step, I hope I can manage my time well this week and I'm crossing my fingers I won't get roasted/burnt/whatever. And when Monday comes, I hope I'll have enough energy to last me through the entire day.

Pictures during CNY

and me looking so haggardy~

Now that Fats Woo mentioned, I realized that Perry's nose is heart shaped.

And anyway, today Perry just had a mini haircut so he's looking more cute than everrrrr. Do drop by soon to play with Perry!! ^^

Oh, and this was before his haircut

This came a little bitttt late but,

Happy Chinese New Year!!!!!!!!!

Uhm this was three weeks back eh