You know, right now I'm feeling very lost. It's health versus passion and it's not the first time I facing this. Every time when I have reached a decision to put health first, it's either a part of me feels really terribly upset and empty or someone pops up randomly and gives me a pep talk thinking that I deserve to continue to play vb and promise to give me a position in the twelve.

You know me. Twelve isn't enough. Call it greedy or whatever it is but this is, perfectionism. And I get pretty upset if I do not get what I want.

But what if, I lose touch of everything and I can't play well for both indoors and outdoors? Why are all these small little intricate things so disturbing. I tell you, even when it's bedtime at 4 a.m. I'm still crazily disturbed over all these things.

Oh sigh never mind. Why am I typing all these out when nobody even understands what I'm going through?

Can you actually believe I've been harping over this issue for like.....months?! And getting upset over something that might not be of use in the future?! Waaake up time to wake up. September has come to an end already.

Today I met Gladys again and we've met only twice this holiday! Time really flies. All we did was having lunch, eyebrow trimming at m.a.c., browsing magazines at the book store, got a top from zara banana, neoprints, accessories shopping at diva and mango dessert at shokudo.

I don't eat a lot these days but surely I spent a bomb on good food. Good food. Good for the Souls.